View Related
Restoring Karmic Balance
When I was a little girl I wanted curly hair (the perm was disastrous!), for George Michael to secretly be my father, a rich husband, a career as an actress or solicitor; and when I grew up, to have two daughters to dress up in tutus and stripy tights.
I am a thirty seven year old musician and astrologer. My husband is an ‘angel’ from Heaven, my soul mate and a music teacher. We have three boys. I am truly blessed.
I was brought up in a household with occasional forays into spirituality. When I was fourteen my Auntie took me to Cyprus to meet a man called Daskalos, the Magus of Strovolos, an amazing man who listened to my piano playing with his eyes closed, drew me a talisman and told me that Angel Gabriel was my ‘guardian’, which was the start of a very long and important relationship with Gabriel for me.
My spiritual life then remained dormant until I was twenty five when my father collapsed from secret alcoholism, spiralling my world into chaos.
It is often whilst experiencing utter trauma and tragedy that people describe themselves as ‘waking up’ so via the gateway of Al Anon, I discovered a library of illumination, through books written by Neale Donald Walsh*, Howard Sasportas* and Robert Schwartz*.
I learnt to say ‘I am’ and ‘I have’ rather than ‘I want’ which tells the Universe that you are ‘wanting’ and therefore not entitled to ‘have.’
I thanked God for the safe arrival of my children; I had by now moderated my Universal wishes to a boy and a girl, or two of one and one of another!
When my three beautiful boys arrived, one every 2 years, I was a little confused – had I cosmically ordered this? Was I to be outnumbered in a sea of testosterone, football boots and sky sports? If I hadn’t got exactly what I wanted, had I, to quote the song, got exactly what I needed?
I looked at the boys thoughtfully – what had they come here to teach me – what had they come here to learn?
I knew when I looked into all of their eyes that there was such great depth to these children. Like my husband and myself, two out of the three were Scorpio rising, which gives one a wise set of eyes and a penetrating stare!
My oldest, Joseph was fascinated by death; utterly comfortable and mature about it. He was with me when we watched our elderly friend and neighbour slip away in hospital: a three year old so calm and beatific, watching the passing from one world into the next with both interest, and wordless compassion.
They were children, but they weren’t. Joseph often stood alone in the playground and I know his soul was just waiting for him to grow up, so he could participate in the adult world, where life would make sense.
It wasn’t until I met a very special mentor recently that I was able to understand how I’d got here and why I had been blessed with these children.
If I’d have checked my astrological transits carefully, I’d have known that a teacher was due to enter my life; but I’d been disconnected for a few months, restless and uncomfortable in my skin.
My mentor talked at great length about my previous existences and the karma that I had brought into this life with me.
My previous life as a woman had been so full of suffering, pain and degradation; my early life observed my parents’ relationship, a giving mother and a father who exemplified male selfishness and ego.
I adopted a masculine energy to protect myself – until I met my partner. In many ways, his femaleness and the collapse of my male role model father set me free and coincided with my progressed Sun moving into Cancer - the sign of female nurturing. I was finally ready at twenty nine to embrace my feminine side and to celebrate my femaleness; safe at last in this incarnation.
My boys are a gorgeous blend of male and female. They are emotionally intelligent, thoughtful, sensitive, chatty, bouncy, nurturing, fierce and physical. They have some male traits unfamiliar to me; their desire to pounce on each other, rolling around on the floor like puppies!
But their amazing questions, their shy explorations, their innate musicality and spirituality transcend the boundaries of maleness or femaleness. They are, in short, a beautiful balance and it is that balance which has cleared my karma and given me serenity.
*Neale Donald Walshe, Conversations with God
*Howard Sasportas, The Twelve Houses
*Robert Schwartz, Your Soul’s Plan
Charlotte Carslake
www.carslakeastrology.co.uk
January 2013
Post Article:
Submit Your Own Article