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Helping Yourself

By:Sneha Ramji
Date: Thu,22 Sep 2011
Submitter:Sneha Ramji

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Do you think that life has dealt you a bad set of cards? That life never works out the way you want to? If something can go wrong, it will go wrong for you? You feel like luck never comes knocking on your door? You just aren’t one of the lucky ones? Life has always been a struggle? Why doesn’t god/the universe cut you a break? If only you had a different childhood, if only you were tied down with responsibility? If only…………

Taking Responsibility

If all or any of the above statements are true or resonate with you then it’s time to change things. If only it were that easy I hear you cry. Well it is that simple, you don’t like it , you change it! I know that you think who is this woman , she doesn’t understand what I am going through , my life is a struggle, I am trapped by my circumstances. I have responsibility for my child, my parent, my partner etc. Well I am not saying abandon your responsibilities but what I am saying take responsibility for your predicament. Only then are you able to change it, if you believe that some outside force is controlling your life then you will carry on struggling through. Believe it or not we all have control and say over our lives , we easily give this power to other people. Yes we have attachments and yes we love people and we owe them but who says that we owe them our happiness, who says that we have to give up who we are. What made me the authority on this? Well I am not an authority but the reason I can talk like this because I been in situations where I blamed my circumstances and outside forces. I blamed my childhood , everything but take responsibility. Don’t get me wrong when you are in a downward spiral or stuck in a rut it can be hard to find a way out and easy to shift the blame on to others.

Seek Help

With the advent of the internet, we have so much information to transform our lives it would be a shame to live a life that was always a struggle. Maybe there a million reasons why you cannot change your situation, they maybe financial , physical and even mental but unless you try you will never know. There that saying isn’t there God helps those who help themselves.

Like the universe we are made of energy and what we think about, we create. If you are filled with negativity, that life always goes wrong for you, guess what that’s exactly what you will get! No this is not some sermon about positive thinking, although it helps , positive thinking alone will not propel you to change. . I am saying that by taking positive steps , it is possible to change our circumstances. I am a living proof. Around 10 years ago , I was a bloated , depressed 27 year old, I had a job that didn’t pay much, I was overweight , addicted to drama and generally trying to get through life by over indulging and just being involved in all the drama I could find.

I had to go through a lot before , I took action. I read books, I sought out help, I attended workshops. In this period , I learnt a lot about myself as well as techniques for change that I am able to now share with other people. Fast forward to 10 years, I am now a healthy weight, I am happy in most aspects of my life, I get on well with my family , friends , I have so little drama in my life that I almost get bored. In the line of work I do , I get a lot of people who come to me with problems, what they want me to do is wave some magic wand to change their life for them to make it better.
What they don’t want to hear is that they are responsible for their dire circumstances, no one wants to hear that you in this mess because you created! Why would you create it , who in their rights minds would create this situation. What a lot of people don’t understand is that we on the earth plain to learn lessons. We agreed on the lessons to be learnt in this lifetime long before we were a glint in our parents eyes. What happens is when ones come to the planet all this is forgotten , one forgets that they can be captains of their own ship. Don’t get me wrong it is easy to get lost in illusion (maya) I am guilty of it as the next man. What is hard is to recognise that what we are going through is illusion , that all circumstances are created by us so we can therefore be uncreate them. You cannot change other people but what you can transform yourself, by changing your vibration, you can impact your circumstances. It’s easy as that! So you need to begin by examining what the blocks are in your life. Are you encountering the same situations over and over again? Maybe you are missing the lesson.

How to instigate change?

Well there’s no doubt that you learn a lot through adversity and the Buddhist believe that suffering is part of life but some people keep going through the same scenarios over and over again , they tend to miss the lesson. I believe that life does hold some adversity but it’s there to teach you , to propel you to learn and grow. What I don’t believe is that you have to spend your entire life suffering. Some would argue that it’s karma that you are paying for your past mistakes. I do think that you have a roadmap of what you would like to achieve in this lifetime and some of that might be challenging but I also think that you cannot hand over your life and it’s path to destiny , if you are powerless to do anything then you might as well not bother.

I know that certain people like those who are severally handicapped, injured, ill or looking after those with those afflictions may not be able to alter the situation no matter how much you think positive or change your energy. However with every situation, you can change your attitude to it, how many times have you read that people were grateful for a particularly heinous occurrence that happened to them because it made them stronger, it made them live. Recently I read about a lady who was in a train crash and she says that the crash made her rethink her life and she now spends more time with her family and is grateful to live each day.
Reading through this may feel like a contradiction but life is a contradiction , it is complex and full of hurdles but on the flip side it can be full of joy , love and bliss. All I am saying is that if you are facing a hurdle , maybe just change your attitude towards it. You may still have to face it but it won’t impact you as much as it would have otherwise. You have the power to change your life so why not use it?
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Kat Day said:

I too agree totally with all of what you say, as I have been through a similar life-changing experience. Don't suppose you did the Lightning Process to achieve your changes did you?! This is what first changed my life and I have continued to flourish since then, it's 1 year on for me now and I'm never going to look back as I'm so happy!

Your thoughts and feelings create your reality and this is what I'm now teaching to others. Check out my website, if you're interested at

Best wishes,
Kat x
Wed,28 Sep 2011,18:40:39 GMT

Grace Selfe said:

Very wise words spoken, thankyou very much for sharing your views, especially as what you have written is a very difficult thing to put over well. Im impressed with the way you have dealt with situations there is a lot of sticky ground with people sometimes. I too work this way more and more, the energy is rising and we are part of that, very much so. Some of the things you say are what have been going on for me to. The flip side of life is something that applies to everything doesnt it, and we tend to experience the flip side in most things at some time in our life i have found anyway. I am 44 so kinda double your age, and think it is lovely that you are so wise, thankyou for sharing. Blessed Be
Sun,25 Sep 2011,19:53:52 GMT
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